


Try Not To Think (But Fail Very Badly At It)

by Vruity



Category: Anne of Green Gables - L. M. Montgomery, Anne with an E (TV)
Genre: Cute, Eventual Romance, F/M, Fluff, Friends to Lovers, Friendship, Insecurity, Kissing, Love Confessions, Miscommunication, Pining, Season/Series 03, but failing badly and thinking about gilbert, denying of feelings, trying not to think about gilbert
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-01-12
Updated: 2020-01-12
Packaged: 2021-02-27 06:20:52
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,662
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22232428
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Vruity/pseuds/Vruity
Summary: Anne did think, at some point, that she and Gilbert could work out. However, he is now courting another woman. And she knows better than to think about a boy that she will only ever be friends with.Three chapters and of course they aren't gonna be just friends.
Relationships: Diana Barry & Anne Shirley, Gilbert Blythe & Anne Shirley, Gilbert Blythe/Anne Shirley
Comments: 4
Kudos: 57





	Try Not To Think (But Fail Very Badly At It)

Anne Shirley-Cuthbert sat by her window, as she was wont to do whenever the weather outside was sunny and not too windy, and she wrote. What she was writing, she did not really know. It was one of those days where the inspiration struck her and she could not help but pick up a pen and simply write down whatever came to her. Outside, the spring had made the tree in front of her window sprout white blossoms with silken petals, that where momentarily raining down and swaying in the soft breeze. The sun had come up about fifteen minutes ago and the entire farm was lit up by the golden rays.

Anne knew she had a little more than an hour and a half before she had to be at school, and a little less than half an hour before Marilla would wake her and tell her to get dressed. She sighed, put her pen down and stretched in her chair. She had written a short story about a princess who, despite all the luxuries that a life in the palace would provide, chose to pursue adventure. Anne smiled as she stroked the paper softly. Miss Stacey had said, that all great authors put a little bit of themselves into their work. That makes it authentic to themselves. Anne agreed with that.

The sun had risen a bit more and the gold of the early morning had faded away. The light, that had only illuminated the desk and chair that stood by her window, now also lit up the rest of her room. Her bed was not yet made, pillow and blankets all shoved to the right side of the bed. On the nightstand, next to a candle that had once been seven inches tall, but was now only two inches tall and surrounded by a pool of hardened wax, lay three books. The one on top, which Anne had been reading before sleep, were sonnets by William Shakespeare. The other two contained the material that she had to know to pass her Queen’s entrance exams, although she’d rather not think about those yet.

Anne sighed as she looked at the books. She worried about the exams, but at the same time knew she was at least as prepared as the other pupils in her class. She’d still rather not think about them, if possible. And, if she was honest with herself, there were other things that she would rather not think about at the moment. One of them being Gilbert Blythe and his relationship with the dashing Winifred Rose.

Anne shook her head as if to banish those thoughts with a physical movement and began to stack the papers on her desk into a neat pile. She would not let herself be distracted in the run-up to the exams like this. What Gilbert wanted to do with his life, was not her problem anymore. The feelings she had had for him, the ones she very recently became aware of, did not matter at all. If Gilbert was happy, she was happy for him, as friends are supposed to do.

She put the stack of papers on the left corner of the desk and got dressed. Her simple clothing were almost her trademark, she thought as she pulled the chemise over her head. Once she had longed to be able to wear the fancy clothes the other girls wore every day to school, but now she felt she appreciated the clothing she had more. Maybe it was because she was sixteen now, and thus almost grown. She looked into the mirror and two curious blue eyes looked back at her.

She still thought she looked younger than the rest of the girls at school, whatever the adults around her might say. Diana had even said that the colour of her hair had turned ‘a lovely shade of auburn’ after the dye (and consequently, the haircut) situation of the year before. However, she failed to see herself that way. The girl in the mirror was still, as she had always been, plain at best. For a minute Anne had almost dared to hope that, although she couldn’t see it herself, Gilbert saw her in a different way. The way he had looked at her when they were dancing in the classroom had given her butterflies which she had not been able to make disappear in the hours following. She had been convinced there was a chance that-

She stopped herself again and splashed a wave of ice-cold water on her face. With a clenched jaw she looked into the mirror as she pat her face dry with a small towel. Gilbert had no permission to be on her mind like that. He was courting another woman, for Pete’s sake. To think about him like that was wrong of her. A soft knock on the door startled Anne into looking up into the kind face of Marilla.

“Good morning there, Anne. You’re up early,” she remarked, her eyebrows showing her surprise. Usually Anne would be in bed until Marilla woke her, as she had the habit of staying up late reading. Anne smiled faintly at her.

“Yes and good morning to you, too, Marilla.” She gestured with her hand to the window, through which the sun now lit up the entire room with its golden light.  
“The marvelous sunrise woke me up today. Don’t you think Snow Queen looks oh so glorious in this warm light? The falling petals reminded me of last winter, yet the light made them seem ablaze.”

She stared dreamily out of the window. Even after many months of living at Green Gables and being able to witness multiple changings of seasons, the view of the land still managed to take her breath away at times. And especially now, the light gave so much scope for the imagination. If she didn’t love school as much as she did, she would have wanted to stay home all day and just write and look outside the window.

She turned back to Marilla after the woman had coughed to gain her attention.

“I’m sorry, Marilla,” she smiled, “the morning is just so magnificent today.” Marilla chuckled softly and turned around, walking towards the door.

“It’s alright.” She turned her eyes to the window and seemed to appreciate the view for a few seconds before she said: “And the morning is indeed very pretty today. Now, hurry up. Breakfast will be ready in a couple of minutes.”

Anne nodded and turned back to the mirror. She straightened her dress a little and started on braiding her hair. Diana had taught her a specific braid two days before, which she called ‘a French braid’.

“It’s very simple and not much different than what you normally do. You start a little higher up,” she had said while picking up a few strands of hair near Anne’s hairline, “and you start braiding down, while picking up extra hair as you go.” She had then stopped talking and braided the entire left side of Anne’s hair, biting her lip every now and then as she encountered a tangle. When she reached the ends of her hair, she told Anne to hold it and ran over to her dresser. She took two small ribbons from the top drawer and handed one to Anne, while tying the braid with the other.

“These are some ribbons I got from aunt Josephine when she last visited. I had intended to give them to you earlier, but it completely slipped my mind. So, they are yours!” Anne had taken a look at the ribbon she was holding in her hand. It was made out of a green fabric that resembled silk, but she didn’t think it was quite the same. The edges had an intricate embroidery that was done with a golden-hued thread. It was gorgeous.

“Diana, I cannot take this. It is too beautiful, I…” Anne was at a loss for words. This was a gift that she had not expected to get without any prompting. These ribbons must have been very expensive, as well. She couldn’t possibly take them.

The other girl must have understood her speechless apprehension, because she started off with the other braid and simply said: “I will not hear any of that. You are my dearest, and only bosom friend. I want you to have those.” Anne had closed her mouth, which she had noticed was agape with surprise and smiled at her friend in the mirror. Diana had smiled back and held her hand out for the other ribbon, which she tied at the end of the second braid.

“There,” she had said, “the same Anne, but different.” After that, Anne had practiced the braids on both Diana and Minnie May, who had walked into Diana’s room shortly after her sister had finished with Anne’s hair.

Anne looked into the mirror as she finished her first braid. On the dresser before her lay the gorgeous green ribbons, in front of her mirror. She tied the end with one of them and started on the second. She didn’t know if she necessarily preferred this style over her normal one, although this one did look more sophisticated, but it did make her feel more special than normally. She finished the second braid, tied it off and looked in the mirror. From downstairs, a mouth-watering smell drifted up and Anne quickly gathered her books for school.

Matthew was already seated at the table, which was also already set. Anne felt a small pang of guilt for taking too long to braid her hair and not being able to help set the table, but the look on Matthew’s face when she came down made it go away very rapidly. He pointed at her hair.

“You did something different!” He said, raising his eyebrows. Marilla walked into the room with a pan that had a couple of pieces of bacon in it, spreading a delightful smell through the house. She looked at Anne as well and a small smile appeared on her face. Matthew spoke again. “With your hair, I mean,” he clarified.

“Yes, I did.” Anne arranged the braids so they lay parallel on her shoulders. “Do you like it?” She sat down at the table. Marilla put a piece of toast on her plate and offered her an egg.

“Very pretty,” Matthew said before biting down into a slice of bread that had a dangerous stack of bacon, egg and cheese. He had the habit of, whenever there was bacon at breakfast, making a piece of toast that made making a mess inevitable. Marilla thought it was very annoying. Anne liked it about him. Marilla glared at her brother before looking back at the girl and smiling.

“It’s not that big of a difference, but it does look good.” Anne smiled and began eating her breakfast.

Anne had not thought about Gilbert at all in the time between the braiding of her hair and the moment she set foot out the door. However, this feat also meant that she _did_ think about Gilbert all the way to where she met up with Diana to walk to school. Consequently, this meant that she had an entire seven minutes to try and not think about Gilbert and failing horribly at it.

Why was it, that whenever you wanted very badly not to think about something, taking that subject off your mind turned out impossible, Anne wondered. There had to be some philosophical meaning to that. Perhaps she could ask Gilbert, as he was, of course, the most well-read person around. That, and thinking was done with the brain, which speaks for itself, and since Gilbert wanted to be a doctor, perhaps he might know more about this matter. And maybe, he…

Anne stopped dead in her tracks as she closed her eyes and mentally reprimanded herself for thinking about Gil- that boy again. Especially since he was now, as Ruby called it, off-limits. For heaven’s sake, it was not like she had been thinking this much about him before she thought she had feelings for him! This shouldn’t be any different, she told herself as she picked up the pace again. They were friends before and maybe there was a period of time where she thought that things could be different, but that wasn’t the case anymore. They were exactly where they had begun and that meant that she would think about him in the same way as before. Anne sighed and stopped at the meeting point.

She walked over to a fallen log that lay on the ground, sat down and tried very hard to not think about the boy with the dark hair who was just a friend. She had never been so relieved to see Diana walking towards her minutes later before.

When they arrived at the school, Diana and Anne walked over to the take-notice board. Ever since the board had started being used again, it was almost a ritual for the pupils to check it before school, during recess and as the last thing you did before walking home. Even the people who didn’t post on there, or were never mentioned made sure to stay up-to-date on the latest events.

Today, however, Anne wasn’t particularly in the mood to check the board. Any mention of romance would undoubtedly lead her mind to wander back to Gilbert, which she wanted to avoid at all costs. So, a few steps away from the board, she un-linked her arm from Diana’s.

“I just remembered, I wanted to ask Miss Stacey something,” Anne said, turning around on her heels.

“Oh, I’ll come with you!” Diana responded, beginning to follow her. From the corner of her eye, Anne noticed Gilbert walking towards the school and calling out to Miss Stacey, who was standing in front of the building. She quickly recalculated.

“Oh, no, I changed my mind,” she laughed a bit nervously. “I need to put my milk in the creek and I can ask Miss Stacey later.”

Anne smiled broadly at Diana who looked back as if she noticed that Anne was acting differently. Luckily, Diana also knew better than to ask her what was wrong where the other boys and girls might hear her ask, so she just nodded.

“That’s alright. Your hair looks very pretty today, by the way, Anne.” She linked their arms together again and walked towards the creek, talking about the dress that Minnie May had ‘designed’ with the help of Mrs. Barry.

Later, in class, Diana passed Anne a note that said that she noticed Gilbert looking at Anne after he was finished talking to Miss Stacey and smiling. She swore that she saw ‘romance in his eyes’. Anne responded shortly, telling her she was delusional, for he was courting Winifred, and inquiring about Moody. The boy, so the other girls said, had been paying special attention to her bosom friend. This successfully distracted Diana, who then wrote down all the reasons why Moody was an absolute mismatch for her.

Although they didn’t talk about it any further, Anne couldn’t shake the thoughts that now plagued her. Had Gilbert really looked at her with ‘romance in his eyes’? Ever since the dancing, she had noticed that the boy looked at her a lot during class, but she chalked that up to being eye-catching (in a negative way) with her red hair. Besides, she also looked at Diana every now and then when they were in class, although those were looks and not the staring that Gilbert seemed to indulge in.

Whenever she glances sideways to look at Gilbert, she could’ve sworn that the boy had been looking at her, only to swiftly avert his gaze when she looked at him. When they came back from recess, she found a folded note that was tucked into her book.

_I like your hair today.  
\- G._

**Author's Note:**

> I'm starting this fic right before my exams, so I will either finish this work very quickly because I love to procrastinate, or I will not and this will take a while to be finished. Either way, there's gonna be three chapters and I have it all planned out. I binge-watched all of AwaE this week and found myself enamored with these two. I hope you enjoyed! If you did, please leave a comment, as I love to read those! (They are amazing motivation :) )


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